If I were a Girl
It has been a while since I wrote my last post. I was bit busy trying to get control of my life. So much has changed since the last time. I am no longer unemployed, I have got a job - a white collar job. (Ah! stop bragging). Thank you, Thank you for your wishes. Back to work, this post is about something every girl and boy, every men and women can relate to. (Stop guessing I said)
I have deleted my facebook account, yes permanently - it had been a lot of distraction. Came across an app called "Glynk" on google play store and amazed and excited by the its concept. Unlike Facebook which has become a platform of liking pics and sharing selfies, Glynk focuses on the similar interests. It lets you connect with the like-minded people around you. Suppose you are a movie freak, who could be a better match for you than another movie freak (Hey! it's not a dating site).
Today at evening 6:48 PM, I created my account on it. At 6:51, I posted my first post about the book "The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga". In this app there is this feature which enables you to ask recommendations from people about anything you are interested in. Like you love movies but all the good movies you have already watched, weekend is near and you have nothing on your list to watch (for introverts only), you can ask for recommendation on Glynk and people may suggest you some. While scrolling down the news-feed I came across a recommendation in which a girl named Aditi has asked recommendation on movie to watch on the weekend. Simple as it seems, right? then my eyes saw something I couldn't believe at first. One thousands four hundred and ninety likes, One thousands three hundred and fifty two recommendations. At first I thought there is some network problem and it is showing wrong numbers. I clicked on the comment section and saw it was real. Someone was writing the 1353rd one already.
You might be thinking what's so strange about it, right? You might also have thought even for a second that I might have gone mad, right? Okay Okay, even if you don't agree let's move forward.
See the issue which I want to point out here is that boys are hungry for girls (I could have used the word 'desperate' but that would have been an insult to the Indian boy's tharak and you know I am not a person who would insult others every now or then). If you live in India, you know what a girl has to face in the society. She steps out of the house (nowdays home isn't safe either) and tens of strange eyes scans her whole body from tip to toe. A girl ask for a help and there is a long queue of guys to help her. Indian boys are hungry and thirsty, they have a thirst that never ends. You can see this all over the social media where an average looking girl gets tens of friend request from complete strangers every day, where every other guy is hitting on her, where the so called friend-zoned guys would mast**bate on her name. It's dirty, yes it is. If I were a girl, I would have committed suicide the day I had realized the reality.
Why are Indian men like this? To tell you the truth, Indian man is no different than any other man on this planet. He is driven by the urges of sexual pleasure, of anger and bla bla. It is how he has been wired by the nature (I don't mean to rape the women - but the sexual urges). Media brain wash us, go and ask any girl out on the street "Which is the rape country in the world" and she would say without hesitation "INDIA". Not because she has been a victim of it but because the media has shown her so. We see in movies, in news that women in western countries are more socially secure, there are good police system, administration to take care of crimes against them (I won't disagree, they actually do) but the highest number of rapes in a year take place in USA. Can you believe it? sorry Can you digest it? Yes, USA. The present superpower, nearly ninety thousands (90k) rapes take place in a year in USA with just 321.4 million of population. In India, nearly twenty two thousands rapes take place in a year with a population four times the population of USA. I think this fact is enough to break the misconception that India is rape country of the world. People in India are good, they respect women (yes a majority).
The second misconception is that rapes in India are on the exponential rise. Rape/Molestation/Sexual Harassment isn't a new thing for Indians. In earlier times, men of upper caste and higher society used to rape the women of lower caste and poor. After independence when the landlord system, and slave system was put to the end, the incidents continued. What has changed after the Nirbhaya case of Dec.2012 is that people have become more open to say no to sexual harassment. Those rapes, molestation cases, sexual harassment cases which were never recorded in the police files- started getting recorded. Any rape victim and her family in the present India no longer keep their mouths shut and live a life of misery but come to front and get the accused the stringent punishment available in the law. So it is a misconception that rapes are on high rise in India, the truth is they are being noticed more now, and the accused are getting the required punishments. Stop watching those morning evening news which are full of evils happening everywhere and you would start to see the change.
Stop saying "hmmm hmmmm", you just forget where we started - the hungry men on social media and everywhere. I won't deny the fact that too many boys have this attitude Kash Koi Mil Jaaye so they try on every girl they come across. But do you ever think why? what's the reason? what's the cause?
The actual reason for the tharki behaviour is the poor sex-ratio in India. According to Census 2011, there are 940 females per 1000 males i.e 60 less per 1000 males. That's doesn't sound as a problem right? but that's six lakh less per one crore of men. If we take the total population of India in consideration, that's a huge difference - a really big one. The traditional practice of girl foeticide in India has resulted in poor sex ratio. Since 1901, sex ratio sharply fell till early nineties. After a lot of efforts and awareness, sex ratio finally improved in the past decade. This shortness of girls in society results in this crazy behaviour of men around them. I think if the sex ratio is improved to greater extent, we can expect to see a better society and the crime rate against women would fall. (and definitely those wandering guys on social media for girls).
But the question is will a good sex ratio be enough? of course not. USA stands as an excellent example, which has higher number of females per males but still it is on top of rape list country. We should learn from the countries where the crimes against women are low like the Islamic countries - in 1988 Saudi Arabia had 2.19 rapes per 100,000 of population. But I don't think (neither do I support) that India women would like to wear burkha and have several restrictions on their movement and freedom like it goes on in several Islamic countries. Another good example can be Canada, which has considerably low rate of rapes and sexual harassments. A strong judiciary, stringent punishment to accused, faster justice, active police and administration makes the women more secure. Inculcating respect for women since childhood should be focused upon.
Teaching women self-defense techniques since childhood in schools can do wonders. What if some girl travel to a country for work where law is in chaos, where men are animals, where police is corrupt? what then? Self-Defense which she has learned will always be with her. When we talk of equality, let's make her equal in strength also, so strong that no men can think of taking advantage of her.
Will that end the rapes/the sexual harassments/molestations ?? No.. as long as there is Men and Women on earth, it would never end, We should accept the fact and prepare ourselves to fight it.. fight it till the deathbed.
- Shashikant Singh